Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Love is an algorithm

So im sure its difficult to not notice the plethora of social dating commercials that are airing lately. Its inevitable, no matter what you watch, chances are, you'll hear that song, i dont remember what its called, but there is a couple standing there in front of a white background talking about how much in love they are, and how it was all because of finding each other on eharmony. Then there is match.com, which seems like the eharmony rejects club, but i dont want to get into that.
What i really want to talk about is how it doesn't make sense to me that these site do match you based on a profile of sorts, but that matching has to be done somehow, and it sure isn't a human doing the matching, its a computer.
So this makes no sense to me, a computer programmer, I am fairly competent on how algorithms work. I'm no expert on relationships and love or whatnot, but i like to think that what i think i know is somewhat correct. The question i ask myself is "Is there a real calculable value of compatibility, and how can you measure that using some sort of algorithm?"
What i really think is that the people behind these sites are abusing the mass publics trust of the way that the internet can make you anonymous, thus making it easier to express yourself, yet, it also causes you to rely on it for a source of communication, and eventually lose valuable communication skills because of it. I am an obvious victim of this. Not being taken advantage of by social dating sites, but by allowing the internet to destroy my communication skills. I find it difficult to talk about my problems in a normal social setting without feeling anxious. I'm sure i am not the only one affected by this. This is a most unfortunate side effect of the information age.
So back to the social dating sites, I used to think that they were just stupid and basically made up my mind by thinking that they would just tell people that the only way to be happy is to be with that "someone special" Eventually, through a bit of an awakening, i noticed that happiness can come from meeting a certain "someone special" and it can unfortunately make you lose sense of judgement, but it still does give you a very nice euphoric feeling, something i haven't experienced in years. So i have changed my opinion to say that these sites are pointless because of the fact that my logical, computer driven mind cannot grasp the idea of making love into a simple algorithm that can be applied to just anyone.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

OH MY GOD YOU NEED TO WATCH SEX AND THE CITY! ok every is like oh that is a girl show blah blah blah and its dumb BUT IT SERIOUSLY TEACHES LIFE LESSONS!! ok for example "the only way to be happy is to be with that someone special" ok that is a topic of like a one or two episodes and i'm serious the damn show teaches life lessons about love and relationships! ok well maybe not some parts but the bottom line of every show is like something i have learned, things i have yet to learn, and situations that you can be like OH MY GOD THAT HAPPENED TO ME! seriously....
-kristen

Anonymous said...

well, i know that i do not have a computer-driven mind, but i do like to think of myself as logical and i also cannot see how these sites work. i agree with you that it seems as if the ultimate goal of these companies is to accelerate the ultimate disintegration of a real-world relationship. it seems as if they are taking advantage of those who trust the site to help them. i DO understand that to be anonymous is a wonderfully freeing feeling, but eventually the two people who have made a connection online will have to meet if they want anything to happen and nothing will ever again measure up to the idea of each other that they kept in their minds and close to their harts. and because of this, it would seem to me that those who already have anxiety will withdraw more and more into the ease of the electronic world. idk, i guess all i wanted to say it that i agree with you. facebook and myspace are bad enough (to base your friendships on what is written on a website) but love, that's taking it too far. it seems to me conceited of the programmers to claim that they are good enough to find ultimate love for people they have never met.

~caitlin

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